NO TIME TO TALK! TARTAR RECALL!!!!!!!!!!

So outlandish a story they have to show a picture of fish instead of the sauce! Wow!

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20100415/tartar_100414/20100415?hub=Health

Tartar Sauce Security (TSS) is strong.

So, I planned on updating some Tartartlettes of information for you weasels, but as I tried to log into this borg, I forgot my password! I just went through some arduous process to re-enter my own bloungh! At least I know security here is tougher than Fort Knox:

Anywho, in my promise to update this thing Tweztly (once every 27 days), I give you these gems. Let them be the new uniforms to be worn by all you Tartonians at our next General Meeting, to be held in Poughkeepsie, U.S.A.

Know Your Tartar History: Boycott Dairy Queen.

The story of Mose and his Fish Shop, and of course, his famous Tartar Sauce. A tragic tale, indeed. Read all about it here:

http://www.mosestartarsauce.com/history.shtml




Cliff's: Old school fish joint with damn near legendary tartar sauce closes, Dairy Queen buys up land and opens their own restaurant. For shame.




This kind of stuff hurts the sole. Ha! (Kudos to me).


This is a far worse tale than this:

PUNS!

FUN FACT:

If you Google Image MONKEY TOWN USA, you get this:

Now, why don't YOU Google MONKEY TOWN USA?

You have no good reason not to, do you?

Tartar Tube

When you complete your learning about blogs, the next step is to learn about Youtube. Apparently Youtube is some Asian dude who shows you videos all day. Today he showed me this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7z-JBdpTdI&feature=related

Youtube Hideki, I think is his full name.

So Tartar Sauce is not a mysterious as you thought. So now let Mr. Hideki entertain you with this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5XZVc6rypQ&feature=related

Quick Hitter: Tartar Research

So, I actually put this entry in my calendar:


Go to IGA with Pen and Paper to do Tartar research



And I followed those instructions from myself. I must have looked like some official Tartar Inspector standing in that aisle with my notes.

Note Translation - Verbatim:

- Not as many brands avail. as previously thought

- Heinz - Est. 1869 "New Great Taste"

- KRAFT - Easy Squeeze!

- Beaver Brand

Cute Beaver Picture!

AWARD WINNING!

This Week in Tartar History

Sometimes, the news related to Tartar Sauce is not always sunny. Sometimes, its downright depressing.

This week in Tartar sauce History:

On November 22, 1963, JFK was killed by the sauce. He ate a Fried Catfish with coleslaw and Tartar Sauce lunch, and it reacted with his insides in an unpredicted way, leading to his slow and agonizing death later that day.

Further Trivia: In an unrelated event, he was also shot in the head twice while riding in a presidential motorcade later that afternoon.

Truly a sad week in Tartar Sauce history, but a stark reminder to be very careful with the substance in your own everyday use.

Currently Listening to: Billy Joel - "We Didn't Start the Fire"

(JFK Tartar slayed, what else do I have to say?)

Tartar Facts.

So, I found out my lardo dick friend Wikipedia was full of lies. Just pure made up fibs, I hear. So, to get the real Tartar Sauce facts, I turned to my good old reliable gay friend, Google.

Here's what he told me:

1.) Dijon Mustard is often used as an emulsifier. I'm not sure what "emulsify" means, but I think it was whatever happened to Mel Gibson in that agreeable face scarring film.

2.) It is frequently used to flavour fried seafood dishes. This is great news for anyone who has currently been flavouring their seafood dishes with salamander eggs. Make the switch!

3.) Vinegar can be added for a sharper flavour. Let's see Chunkapedia come up with a fact like that. Hmmm? No? Nothing? I thought so.

On a personal note it seems that this blog is blowing up faster than Sahid Hadas Mohammed (inside joke), as it has been featured on some real popular sites. I mean, its getting more action than Soulja Boy Tell 'Em's shriveled up penis.

I mean, that his last name apparently. Tell 'Em. Full name: Souljah Boy Tell 'Em. That's an Abbott and Costello routine waiting to happen:

Abbott: What did you say his name was?

Costello: Souljah Boy Tell 'Em.

Abbott: Tell him what?

Costello: No. His name is Souljah Boy Tell 'Em.

Abbott: Tell him his name? Souljah Boy?

Costello: No! THAT is his name.

Abbott: His name is THAT?

Costello: No! Souljah Boy Tell 'Em.

Abbott: Tell him what!

And so on, and so forth. You understand how these two cavemen of comedy would go on.

But the site really is getting huge, honest and for truly,

its been featured on CNN: [LINK BROKEN]

and NBC NEWS: [BROKEN LINK]

and the Bangs Salon blog: bangssalon.ca/blog/

Collar!

I don't know what that means, Collar! But I hear a lot of hip hop singers say it, so, I'll say it too:

"Collar!"

Currently Listening to: Lou Bega - "Mambo No. 5"

(Though, I personally feel the Mambo reached its pinnacle at No. 3)